Field Note 003: An experiment in getting 'unstuck' in the muddiness of life
A write up on my first official delivery of my latest co-designed game: Unstuck in the Mud, and observations of how playing in the mud can move us forward.
What stops you from moving forward, even when you know something needs to change?
“…I was able to face some tough, life-changing truths without the usual anxiety that holds me back…”
That was how Nicky described her experience of playing Unstuck in the Mud session last week. In just 90 minutes, she had found a way to loosen something that had been weighing her down for months. Maybe years.
I’ve been reflecting on why this game works. Or more truthfully, why it feels like it works. It’s not a formal coaching model. It’s not therapy. It’s just a space. A structured experience that invites you to pause long enough to hear what’s quietly asking to be heard. Not through analysis or explanation, but by playing—with cards, questions, just enough structure, and the company of someone who’s listening.
In this case, that someone was me. Though truthfully, I did very little more than listen, without judgment while Nicky unearthed what she needed to grow from on her own.
Unstuck in the Mud is a co-lab with Sarah Spencer from Think Like A Forest/Think Like A Tree. We created it for practitioners, coaches and facilitators like us working with complexity and life-centred thinking. Typically with business leaders and founders. But it turns out to be just as meaningful for anyone trying to navigate change on a personal level—especially those who are holding a lot and trying to do it all alone. It’s also an acknowledgment that the mud (of life) is only an obstacle…and sometimes playing in it can lead to fresh perspectives on life.
Nicky came to the session feeling overwhelmed. A crossroads had formed in her life, and though she had a deep desire to move forward, she didn’t know which way to turn. She shared how disconnected she’d been feeling from the natural world—something that once grounded her, supported her wellbeing, and reminded her of what matters. She’d lost that thread, and with it, some of her sense of self. But she was also able to acknowledge and celebrate things if you life that felt like they were on firmer ground. Things she had worked at for many years. It was an honour to see her recognise how far she had come in many other areas.
What happened in this session wasn’t dramatic. There were no obvious breakthrough moments or sudden tears. What did emerge was quieter: a sense of awareness, an softening of self, some clarity, and a simple plan. Three steps. Two of them she took on the very same day!
This is often what becoming unstuck looks like. Not a sprint into action, but a shift in orientation. A realignment with what’s already there. Sometimes the next step is as simple as walking out the door and noticing the sky again, or booking a pottery class. Sometimes it’s a conversation that’s been put off for too long. Often, it’s a soft return to something that supports both ourselves and ecosystems that hold us.
A reconnection, not just a resolution.
We designed the game for exactly this kind of movement. Not to diagnose people or fix them, but to hold space for them to find their own way through. Because more often than not, they already know.
If this speaks to something you’ve been feeling, why not book a session for yourself with me. Think of it as self care.
Or, if it's something you’re holding for others, you can learn more about Unstuck in the Mud here.
On a personal note, I’m really grateful that Nicky let me share a small slither of her story with the internet. But even more than that, that she gifted me the opportunity to practice and refine my skills so that the offerings I bring to world matter.
With candidness, curiosity and gratitude
Khandiz x
Such a cool game, when can I play?
Very cool! I’d love to experience one of your games one day. I love the approach